I subscribe to a newsletter written by Jonathan Fields which is all about living a good life. A couple of days ago I found an email in my inbox, and it started like this: (excerpt of Jonathan’s Newsletter):
“Have you noticed, things tend to keep speeding up?
It’s a natural consequence of life. Compounded in a big way this year.
Our reaction, when that happens, is to speed up, ourselves, so we can keep up.
But, then keeping up becomes the new norm, and the firehose of pace keeps coming.
So, we cope by speeding up. Again. And, again. And, again.
At some point, we can’t handle it anymore.
Keeping up becomes blowing up.
We’re brought to our knees, forced to reckon.
What if your reaction to the quickening cycle of life was not to speed up, but to slow down?
[…] Not in a “head in the sand” way, but in a “I know what matters” way.”
How often do we commit to something because we haven’t thought about the consequences for ourselves or what matters to us? How many times do we agree to do something because it is expected of us, but is not really what rocks our boat? Each time we give away a bit of our time…
The problem with that is, it is not only the time we give away, we also give away our purpose, our fulfilment, our contentment. We become irritated, frustrated, and may even lose our energy.
So, slowing down may be the only way you discern what’s important from what’s a distraction in your life, leading to better decisions for yourself and eliminating “random” commitments.
It’s your choice, and you may be surprised by what you’ll find.
This year turned out to be quite different from what I expected. I had a really good feeling about 2020 and thought: this is my year. Like everyone else I made plans. Little did I know. COVID happened.
I started following the news diligently especially after COVID hit New York and went on a rampage in the City. Every morning I went through various news channels, each time searching for some positive change, hoping to see at least a light at the end of the tunnel.
But COVID didn’t do me the favor of disappearing (one can wish, right?). With each day and each week that COVID persisted, it got a bit more difficult to get up in the morning, I felt easily irritated, I often felt anxious. Other people were confronted with far more serious problems such as alcoholism, domestic violence, depression, child abuse, loneliness…. and that doesn’t even mention the families who lost a loved one.
So, what reason do I have to worry or to complain? I’m used to working from home, I’m used to virtual meetings. So, no change on this front. My husband works from home. That’s a big change and extremely cool because he usually travels quite a bit. My family and friends are doing fine. What else can I ask for? I should be grateful and stop whining.
And I did what a lot of people do, I pushed my worries aside. Don’t we all have a bad day or two once in a while? That’s called life, right? It’ll pass! We pull ourselves together and keep on going. Until we don’t.
Life-changing events take their toll because we’re confronted with questions to which we have no answers, yet. We are uncertain about our future, the next step, a decision in business or life… This uncertainty makes itself known in the many ways I described above. Especially if this life-changing event is ongoing and the outcome unknown, the effects can be more pronounced. Consciously or unconsciously, we are dealing with questions, worries, and feelings and appear scatterbrained and unproductive at best, and aggressive and depressed at worst.
Since such events appear mostly unexpectedly, how can we prepare for them? What can we do to stay as calm and as grounded as possible to better cope with them? How can we keep our balance and prevent extreme reactions and behaviors?
There is no one solution that fits all. Different people have different needs when it comes to finding their balance. One person may prefer loud music, whereas the other person may need quiet. One person may want to move their body, whereas the other person may need to be still. Here are some activities that I’m doing or not doing right now. Maybe you’ll find them helpful or they’ll inspire you to find your own. Here we go:
Taking a break from the news. I usually read the news every morning. I decided to skip this routine for a while to start my day on a more positive note. It worked. (I asked my husband to tell me about important events or developments so that I won’t be completely out of the loop.)
Alternatively, you could select news channels that are less sensationalistic in their reporting.
Don’t read, watch, or listen to the news before going to bed; a big game changer for me.
Exercise of the very sweaty kind. For me it’s Taekwondo. It forces me to focus on forms and technique and by doing so clears my head and gives me a break.
Gardening. A new discovery of mine and the perfect kind of work to mull over something.
Going for walks, preferably with a friend. It’s up to you what the topic of your conversation will be.
Listening to audiobooks. My way of taking my mind off of things and diving into a different world.
Alternatively, how about podcasts that are uplifting? Another favorite of mine.
In ‘urgent’ situations I try to remember to take three deep breaths. This way I avoid emotional responses that I might regret afterwards.
Yoga is a more meditative exercise and part of my daily morning routine.
Meditation or a mindfulness practice is also part of my morning routine.
At least seven hours of sleep to feel rested.
Catnaps during the day. If I feel exhausted or tired, 20 minutes of shuteye do the trick. I set a timer, but usually wake up before it goes off.
Establishing routines. Something I strongly believe in. It gives structure to my day and stability.
I journal every day and made it a habit to write down one thing that I’m grateful for. I know, this is an old hat, but if I feel down, steering my thoughts to one thing I’m grateful for lifts my mood. Try it.
A word of advice: Keep it simple. If you’d like to add a new activity to your day, don’t set the bar so high that you won’t be able to do it. 5 minutes is all it takes to make a difference. The important part is that you do it regularly.
Over to you now. What helps you relax and stay grounded especially in hectic, difficult, and/or stressful times? What is your secret weapon for coping with the big and little challenges in life? Let me know in the comments below.
In order to stay grounded, calm and patient in times when everything around us is crumbling or in upheaval, the first rule to follow is take care of yourself. I’m not just referring to a pandemic, but any situation that impacts you and your life. This could be an illness of a loved one, financial problems because a major project doesn’t materialize, problems with your partner or spouse, unexpected expenses because your car broke down. The unfortunate reality is, especially in stressful situations, we tend to “forget” how important it is to stay strong. There are so many things that seem far more important to think about, or to tackle… and we put self-care on the backburner.
I’m not thinking about vacations or hours of meditation, or whatever helps you relax and recharge. I’m thinking of a daily practice. It is far better to incorporate small bursts of self-care during the day to stay grounded and keep a clear head. It will help you process what’s going on no matter what life throws at you. It’s the first step to finding an answer, developing a solution, or determining your next move.
What is Self-care
Let’s have a look at what self-care actually means. Skip this part if you’re more interested in some ideas of how to practice self-care and move to the headline “Practice Self-care.”
Self-care is the deliberate choice of taking care of your own needs on a daily basis, regardless of commitments, responsibilities, expectations from others.
As the bare minimum we need enough sleep and nourishment for our bodies. But that would only ensure our physical survival. In order to protect our wellbeing, physically, psychologically and emotionally, there are more things to consider.
It means knowing who you are, what you like and don’t like, what gives you joy, what you aspire to, what you value, how to set limits, how to deal with difficult situations, how to relax and decompress after a stressful or demanding day.
“Self-care is something that energizes and refuels us, rather than takes from us. […] It is the key to living a balanced life.” It helps us be patient, when patience is needed, show empathy when empathy is needed, and have a clear head, when decisions have to be made.
It means taking the time to reflect on yourself and your day. What are you proud of? What would you like to do better? Are there any changes you would like to make? If so, how will you make these changes happen? What steps can you take?
What recharges us or allows us to let go of the day is different for everyone. Some prefer sweating and working it out, others prefer quiet and writing it down. It can also depend on your mood, the weather, or the people you are with. In summer, you may prefer walking in nature, in winter you may prefer sitting down with a glass of wine and a good book.
Do you know what helps you decompress after a stressful or demanding day? What can you do on the spot to feel grounded or keep a clear head?
Here are some ideas in case you need a little reminder or quick start:
Take 10 deep breaths
Leave the room for a moment
Close your eyes and feel what’s going on in your body
Walk around the block
Get a cup of coffee or tea
Practice your favorite sport
Play with your children
Listen to music
Meditate or pray
Go for a walk at the beach, in the woods, in the fields, in your town
Have a glass of wine and reflect on your day
Read a book or listen to one
Light a candle and write in your journal
Do a craft (sewing, quilting, crocheting, coloring, painting,…)
Work in your yard
Sit and allow the day to pass by in front of your inner eye
Take a hot bath or shower
Prepare a meal and eat with your family or friends
There are so many things you can do; be creative and give yourself the gift of time to find out. What helps you to feel grounded? What helps you to decompress? And then, most importantly, do it. You will be a happier mom, spouse, parent, you name it, for it.
I can’t wait to hear from you. Until next time, Regine
In part 1 of this two-part series “Make Working from Home Work for You” I talked about
The importance of your workspace and work environment,
Suggestions on how to combat loneliness while working from home
And some essential tools and/or technologies for your home office
This week I’ll cover the more subtle problems of working from home. The ones that we face every day, that are easily overlooked, and that may cost us dearly, even if we don’t want to admit it. Here they are:
Knowing your goals and planning your days
Building your own good work habits
Knowing Your Goals and Planning Your Days
It sounds simple enough and straight forward: know your goals. But more often than not that is exactly what many, especially solopreneurs and creative people, tend to lose sight of in the course of their everyday work. There are so many ideas, so many things to do. We better roll up our sleeves and get started. Or should we?
Getting caught up in the everyday happens fast. It’s the little things that sneak in and eat our time. Think of your email inbox. You may be expecting an important email. You look for it and you respond, but that’s not where you stop, or do you? I at least didn’t. Without even thinking I continued with the remaining emails and, two hours later, am surprised that the morning is gone despite the fact that I wanted to do something else.
Whatever your little sneaky time thieves are, stop them. The only way to do so is to know what your goal(s) are. If you don’t know, you won’t make the time. Write your goals down, vet them and make sure they align with your business and values. Break them down into projects, break the projects down into manageable tasks. It’s your roadmap to bringing your ideas and goals to life. Keep this list close and check it daily to make sure you’re staying on track.
That brings me to part two: planning your days. My daily planning is divided into two parts: part one is meetings, conference calls, etc.; part two are the “non-negotiables.” I don’t think I have to explain how meetings and calls end up in my calendar. But I’d like to spend a couple of words on the “non-negotiables.”
Non-negotiables are appointments I make with myself. These are time blocks I dedicate to projects I’m working on. Every day I pick at least one of my major projects and dedicate a certain amount of my time to work at it. I choose a time that allows me to bring the most energy and best circumstances to this work. That could mean picking a time of day when I’m usually undisturbed and which is quiet, or I arrange it that way (thanks flight mode). I set a timer that reminds me when “my time is up.” This way it’s up to me to continue or just finish what I’m working on.
Another equally important non-negotiable, for example, is my daily Yoga practice and meditation and my martial arts training twice a week.
Lastly, if possible, I reserve Fridays for “housekeeping” stuff that I didn’t get to during the week, planning the week ahead, bookkeeping… you get the idea.
What I found by putting everything in my calendar is that I get a more realistic picture of the use of my time. If I need much longer for a particular task, I adjust my calendar entry and keep it in mind for future time approximation. Very helpful.
Having said that, I don’t plan 100% of my day. I always leave generous blocks of time empty. Don’t be a miser here. You’ll thank yourself when life throws unexpected stuff at you. If it does, at least you have the flexibility to deal with it without feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. Or, as a best-case scenario, you have some additional time on your hands. I’m sure you have no problem coming up with something to do. There’s already enough stress and “catching up” in our lives; don’t add to it.
This is the perfect segway into the next topic:
I know it from own experience, heard it from peers, and read quite often about the fact that we as entrepreneurs or solopreneurs tend to forget to take breaks. The moment we have a free minute we start thinking what we can do to get another action item off of our To Do list.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a problem with working hard to build or grow your business. Working hard only turns into a problem when you forget to take care of yourself, your family and your friends.
Like a battery needs time to recharge, your body and brain need time to recharge as well. Without rest you can’t expect to be at your best. You need enough sleep, food that energizes you, exercise that keeps you in shape. I know, you’ve heard it before, it’s old news. But especially in difficult and demanding times, when we actually need it the most, we readily throw these basics out the window.
We scarify time with our partner or with our kids for our business. We don’t take the time to be with friends. For a little while that’s not a problem. But it may turn into one if you stretch this time out too long. Your relationships suffer and so do you.
Step away from your desk and have a coffee or lunch with a friend or your partner. Play with your kids for a while. Call your mom and have a quick chat. It’ll take your mind off work, you give yourself a break, you reconnected with a friend, or it’ll make you feel good for having spent time with your kid(s). The result will be to return afterwards with more energy and often new ideas.
What is even more worrisome is sacrificing ourselves, or more precisely, not taking care of ourselves for the benefit of spending more time in and on our business. We tend to forget that self-care is the fuel for our body and our mind which in turn impacts our performance. It’s the little things during the day that you could do.
A no-brainer for me is not to have your lunch or any other meal at your computer or desk. It’ll ensure that you know what and how much you’re eating, a plus for those amongst us who watch their weight, and you can “check out” for a little while. You may want to leave your phone at your desk to resist the temptation to check for emails, text messages, social media and the like. Enjoy your food instead and take a break.
Exercise. Whatever you enjoy doing, the operative word here is enjoy, do it. No excuses. Go to the gym, go for a walk, work in your yard, dance, practice yoga, whatever rocks your boat. I love my Taekwondo classes and Yoga. There is no better way for me to clear my head or work out any frustration (pun intended). Especially when I’m struggling with a difficult problem stepping away from it, doing something totally unrelated, gets my creative juices flowing. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and in the middle of that conversation, for no reason whatsoever, an idea strikes you that’s unrelated to the conversation but the solution to a problem you’ve struggled with? Has that ever happened to you?
Even if you can’t take or afford a vacation, there are so many things you can do without spending a lot of money that provide a change of scenery or a new experience that’ll help you recharge, feel more energized, and get your creative juices flowing. Your work and business will thank you for it.
Let’s take a break here. I thoroughly underestimated how much I would write about “knowing your goals and planning” and “taking a break.” I’ll move “building good work habits” to my next blog. I hope you don’t mind.
If you have any experience or suggestions to the above, please share it. I’d love to learn more and I’m sure others appreciate a reminder, a suggestion or word of wisdom as well.
Last year I wrote a blog about working from home. I described a couple of situations that may arise testing your productivity and ultimately your success. Since then I dug a bit deeper, did some research, and had more conversations with people who have first-hand experience on the work-from-home front. I learned about their set up, their tools, what kind of problems they deal with, how they avoid distractions, how they stay motivated, and what they learned along the way to stay productive and, yes, happy as well.
Since there is quite a lot to cover, I decided to split this topic into two parts. Part 1 will focus on:
The importance of your workspace and work environment
How to combat loneliness while working from home
What tools and/or technologies support you
And part 2 will focus on:
Knowing your goals and planning your days
Taking breaks is important but easily forgotten
Building your own good work habits
Of course, it very much depends on your personality and your type of work, what problems or challenges you may face. So, let’s have a look and talk about ways to deal with them. The following suggestions may not be the (ideal) solution for you, but I hope they’ll inspire you to try and test them, experiment with your own ideas so that you’ll find out what works best for you.
1. The importance of your workspace and work environment
For some it is a no-brainer, for others it may be a revelation, that your workspace and work environment should support you, inspire you, and make you want to spend time there. It should be designed for the work you want and/or need to do and be free of interruptions and distractions. It should allow you to concentrate, be free of distractions and have undisturbed video conferences, phone calls, or whatever you need to do on a regular basis. Everything should be right at hand so that you can focus on your work instead of tools, technology, materials etc.
You don’t want to go chasing for a quiet space or a stable internet connection shortly before an important video call. This would be stressful and may have a negative impact on the conversation you’re going to have.
2. How to combat loneliness while working from home
As much as you may love not having to commute, at times you may feel very lonely working from home. There is nobody to chat with, go to lunch with, bounce an idea off, have a cup of coffee with when you are stuck, or ask about a movie or a game.
The typical recommendation to this problem is a coworking space. Yep, that may be one solution if you find the right coworking space. Right in terms of location, right in terms of people, and right in terms of how much it cost. But there are other options.
Another very common suggestion is the café. However, this comes with a caveat. Usually cafés are noisy places with lots of distractions. If you can’t block out the noise and distraction you won’t be very productive (noise-cancelling headphones come to mind). You also may fight over the few power outlets or feel guilty because you sit there for several hours and only consume a café latte. In short, you trade one evil for another. If you happen to know a nice, quiet café ignore what I have just said.
Moving to the next option. One article I read suggested to start a Meet-up group and arrange coworking days once or twice a week at a convenient location. I haven’t tried it, but it sounds like an idea worth pursuing. The issue here could be finding a suitable location especially if we are talking about a group.
This brought the idea to my mind that you could ask other home workers if they would like to “co-work” once or twice a week. Two or three people are much easier to accommodate in a café. If you have found the right people for your co-working day(s) you may even invite them to your home if you have enough room.
Have you considered checking out your local library? It’s a quiet place, distractions are at a minimum, and libraries have desks or tables to work at. Could that be an alternative to working at home?
If you have any other ideas, please share them so that other “home workers” can benefit from them.
3. What tools and/or technologies support you
Tools and/or technology are also a big part of supporting you when working from home and connecting with the world. It is no secret that there are a myriad of tools, apps, and programs out there with the intention of making your life and work easier, faster and more productive. And that is why a word of caution may be in order. Don’t fall into the trap of having to try each and every one. Before you make a decision, if that decision is up to you, take some time to gain a clear picture of what kind of tool is really useful for your particular situation. Don’t be afraid to ask others about their experience and why they chose one app, program or tool over another. If you have narrowed down the options, do your own research, look at You Tube demos and check out trial versions if available. Then, make your decision. It may take a bit of time to find the perfect solution, but it will pay off in the long term.
As a simple example, some people love an electronic calendar that synchronizes with their phone, others still prefer a paper version. If you have a choice, pick the one that you feel most comfortable with and that’s easy to use. Just because something looks nice, is new and fancy doesn’t mean it’s meant for you. I’ll come back to the calendar in part 2 of my blog. It’s a simple but also important tool when it comes to your planning.
After this short detour, let’s get a little more specific. I do believe it’s a no-brainer to have a reliable phone and computer. Remember, it’s your work that’s on the computer and you don’t want to lose any of it just because it dies at a critical moment.
A stable internet connection is also mandatory, especially if you make video calls.
Since we are talking about video communication… It’s one of the most recommended services and tools for “home workers”. I don’t know anyone who is working from home who doesn’t use a video communication tooI/service. It doesn’t replace face-to-face meetings, but it certainly makes working together much easier. You can have team meetings, client meetings, share your screen, record conversations, give presentations, or simply reach out and have a chat with someone to keep in touch with. Especially if you’re working in a team that’s scattered all over the country video communication is always mentioned as being a vital tool. Team members feel more connected and build stronger relationships which usually translate into better cooperation and work results. I couldn’t agree more.
There are a couple of video communication tools/services that I used over the years. I’m now mostly working with Zoom because it is well known, has a calendar add-in for scheduling purposes, has a recording option, is easy to use, and it works. Other tools/services are Skype, WhatsApp, JoinMe, Telegram, Duo, Facetime, to mention just a few. Depending on your needs, pick the one that works for you.
How do you keep track of your action items and projects? Do you know when you should reach out to a client or customer and follow up on a proposal? Are you part of a team that needs to stay informed and on the same page or are you a solopreneur and keep all threads in your own hands? Like with video communication there are many tools to choose from. Some are more designed for one-person use and others are designed for teams.
Most of the time I keep control over my action items and use a simple task manager such as Microsoft To Do, Wunderlist, Things, Todoist. They are intuitive and simple to use, exactly what I like about them. I have them on my phone and on my desktop, which allows me to add action items whenever I need to. No lost notes anymore, everything is in one place and always accessible.
If you prefer a paper version you could use the Bullet Journal method, Filofax, or any of the systems available in office supply stores or online. The market for analog productivity tools has exploded over the last couple of years and offers a huge variety. Every single one claims it will help you get better organized and keep track of your work and tasks. It sounds a little bit like a miracle cure. Keep in mind that it’s still up to you to use it and make it work aka keep it easy and simple.
If you are part of a team determine what exactly you would like a cooperation management tool or project management tool to do for you and your team. This is not my strong suit and I only know a few such as Trello, Asana, Basecamp and ZOHO. But if I had to decide which one to use, I would ask around, watch online demos, and test-run the ones that fulfil my requirements and are easy to use.
I know I said it many times, but ease of use is always the highest priority for me. I want all the tools, programs and apps I use to support me and make my life easier – not the contrary.
If you have found a system, tool or app that works for you, keep it. There is truth in saying never change a running system. Except if you absolutely have to.
Having said that, change is the most reliable constant in life. Your work or work environment may change. That’s a great moment to check in with your habits (more about habits in part 2 as well), tools and systems. Do they still serve you or is it time to have a closer look and make some changes?
That’s it for today. If you have any wisdom to share, please do so. I’ll continue with part 2 of “Make Working from Home Work for You” in two weeks. Until then,
As mentioned in my last post of 2019 I took a couple of days off to reflect on and review the last year. By doing so I came across a downloaded blog from Rob Hatch about silence. To be honest, I don’t remember who Rob Hatch is and where I downloaded the blog from but I found it in my folder of “things to remember” and thought it is the perfect practice to welcome a new year. It may feel counterproductive at first, but the results I’ve had prove that the opposite is actually true.
With this short introduction and before I hand over to Rob Hatch…
And with no further ado, here are Rob’s thoughts on silence:
“Last week I found myself with a block of “waiting room” time. It was the type of waiting that required you to be nearby for an undetermined duration, just in case. And it might last an hour…or three.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not terribly patient in these situations. I prefer a little definition to my day.
Of course, I immediately began thinking about ways to make use of every minute. What could I accomplish with all this time? After all, I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.
My list grew quickly as I contemplated running a few errands nearby, squeezing everything I could out of the moment. And then I just stopped, let all of it go, and took some of the time to enjoy the silence.
Silence and stillness are not unproductive
That’s the way we tend to view silence. We’re often uncomfortable with it. Try spending 20 minutes in your car with the radio off. Better yet, count how many times you reach for the knob. Try leaving your phone in your pocket while you stand in line at the store. Or just try waiting, in silence, for anything for more than 15 minutes.
We are always looking for distractions to fill the silence. So we pull out our phones and check…something. I do it all the time. I’ve even advocated using these moments to be more productive by replying to a few emails for example. But sometimes silence is an accomplishment.
The fact is, our brains need this time. We need moments where our minds wander and our focus gets a bit fuzzy. That’s where connections are made and ideas emerge, in the quiet spaces in between. And they come when we stop looking for every distraction available to us to fill a void.
Just Do What?
My good friend Sheri’s favorite phrase is, “Don’t just do something. Stand there.”
The key to the phrase is that we are always looking to ‘just do something’. Nike’s famous tagline, “Just Do It”, isn’t particularly helpful if we get stuck on ‘Just Do’ when we aren’t terribly clear about what ‘It’ is. And that’s where silence comes in because when we stop doing, even for a few moments, “it” tends to reveal itself.
Maybe your silence is prayer or meditation. Maybe you just focus on your breathing. Maybe you stare in wonder at a spider web or the night sky in late summer. The goal is to stop. The goal is to sit and wait in silence.
When we’re constantly told to hustle to be successful, it can be hard to allow for those moments. But I promise you they are as important as anything on your To-Do list.
My waiting room silence didn’t last the entire time. It didn’t need to. But the time I did spend, felt good. It cleared my mind and eventually I eased back into a few simple things. I emerged less harried and grateful for those moments.”
I’d like to repeat my invitation and ask you to find the time for silence in your day in the hopes that you will feel calmer, more focused and more purposeful in your actions. You don’t need a fancy practice. Allow yourself to do nothing for a little bit. Close your eyes if you find this helpful and “listen” to what happens. You may be surprised and grateful because thoughts and ideas have emerged that otherwise wouldn’t have found their way to you.